Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
