Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize