Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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