If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I need a beard to bite.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
