i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
