fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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