If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
