I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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