there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
