p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
