Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
