doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
