chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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