i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You left your phone here
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