week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
