We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
