; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The air was thick with penises
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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