Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
