ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
