i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
