his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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