i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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