"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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