I'm eating all of the evidence.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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