on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
