im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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