I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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