Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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