i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
