Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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