So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
