omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
