I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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