I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
