I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
