You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
