that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
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