I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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