They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
