i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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