I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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