I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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