i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
