Whod you bang
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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