Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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