If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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