shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
