How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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