I faked an abortion last night.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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