I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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