hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
