I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
