We're facebook friends in real life
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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