she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize