I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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