i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
