just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
we're so committed to being not committed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
