he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
