My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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