Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
