dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
