Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's blow job season.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
