I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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