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• (323): View more from California

  i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.

  (818): View more from California

  she hot?

  (323): View more from California

  i don't wanna talk about it

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

  (850): View more from Florida

  I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just so you know, I have a bf.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.

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