so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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