Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
