Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have demons in me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
