She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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