i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
