stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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