drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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